9) We've got one season of reprieve before we're stuck in the same division as Albert Pujols again.
8) With the power output of our lineup, you can rest assured that no one's 'roiding here!
7) We promise that you'll never see Orbit again.
6) Given a choice between watching us or the London Olympics on tape-delay . . . we win, right?
5) The Mayans would have wanted you to enjoy a few more games before it's all over.
4) We've got Livan Hernandez -- fresh off of his 1997 World Series MVP campaign.
3) Minute Maid Park: The perfect antidote to the congestion of Houston rush hour.
2) You did hear about the lower beer prices, right?
1) Did the Texans or Rockets win 56 games last year? Didn't think so!
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