Tour de Donut

For most of this past weekend I was pretty occupied with moving, but I am pleased to report that I did make the time to ride in the 5th Annual Tour de Donut, a cycling event that benefits the Make-A-Wish Foundation.

There were two rides offered in this event this past Sunday. The serious cyclists would take a 55-mile loop route starting and ending at Katy Mills Mall. The other option was the shorter 28-mile donut challenge, which would offer two stops well-stocked with donuts. Each donut consumed in this challenge would earn a five-minute deduction from the rider's time.

Y'all already know which box I checked on my entry form, right??

About fifteen minutes after the clock started, I crossed the start mats with the back of the pack. The route was slightly altered this year, with riders being sent out of the mall parking lot and over to the Interstate-10 feeder road. I think this change gave the riders more pavement to work with and reduced early bottlenecking.

It was a beautiful morning with cool, sunny skies and some breeze as we turned off the highway onto the two lane blacktop that cut south into the Katy prarie. This section of Fort Bend County is making the transition from rural to suburban, with horse ranches and feed stores alternating with newly-sprouted master-planned communities.

I'm far from being a serious cyclist. My only "training" was taking my Schwinn Suburban out of the garage for a ten-mile ride the previous weekend to make sure it was still working. One of the ride marshals pulled alongside me and grinned. "You're doing pretty good on that mountain bike." I suppose I was.

Just like last year, I did a lot of passing in the early portion of the ride. Among the parade of wheels, I saw more than one tandem bike, a couple of rollerbladers, and a pair of young ladies sporting pairs of short-shorts and brightly-colored over-the-knee long-stockings.

At mile 11, I made it to Fulshear (pop. 718), the site of the first donut stop. I pulled off the road into the gravel-covered parking lot in front of an attorney's office. The cyclist behind me lost control on the gravel and skidded sideways to the ground. He gave me a good startle, but he was okay. So it was time to hit the donut line.

"Start me with three," I told the volunteer. She plucked three glazed Shipley's donuts from one of countless boxes and placed them in my hand. I turned my back on another volunteer, and she made three hash marks on my race bib. (Last year, I showed up with my race bib on the front of my shirt, runner-style like a noob.)

Down went the donuts: 1 . . . 2 . . . 3 . . . yummy! Back in line, I asked for three more and got three more hash marks.

4 . . . 5 . . . 6 . . .

With the sixth donut, I could sense that my stomach was starting to question what I was up to. I was already one donut shy of my count from last year, but I decided that I had eaten enough for now and re-mounted my bike. I felt really loaded down, like the donuts were five pounds each or something. It wasn't until three miles out of Fulshear that I was pedaling normally again.

After that first stop, the 55-mile route split away and the line of riders around me had definitely thinned out. I certainly was far from the only one out there on a cheap bike. I waved the "sign of the horns" at a guy with the dulcet tones of Kiss rising from his handlebar speakers. I exchanged greetings with a couple of riders sporting Aramco Houston Half Marathon shirts.

Turning north, we passed the halfway point of the route entering Waller County. We proceeded on to the bustling city of Brookshire, Texas (pop. 3450), where the second route stop at mile 18 waited for us at a quick-lube shop. I accepted three more glazed from the donut tent and took them down -- slowly. By the ninth I had "hit the wall" in gluttony terms and had to take a seat on the curb. Another guy and I marveled at a third gentleman standing in the grass puffing away.

"A cigarette!?" we asked incredulously.

"Hahahahaha," replied the smoker. "Yeah, and I've had ten dounuts too."

I wouldn't even think of emulating his example, but I admit that I was impressed. I did want to reach double-digits in the donut count today, so I staggered to my feet, and asked a volunteer for one final sugar-coated ring of fried dough. It felt like a long, long time, but I earned that tenth hash mark on my bib number and re-mounted for the return leg to Katy.

I never really felt normal for the rest of the ride. Really feeling loaded down, I was fighting a headwind and was barely eking out 12 mph. As I entered the mall parking lot, I noticed my Garmin had ticked off 29.3 miles for this year's revised route. As the race clock ticked to 3:01, I rolled across the finish mat, feeling accomplished. Last year my chip time of 2:07 and seven donuts was good enough to put me in the top 15% overall. This year's official results are still being tabulated, but I'm pretty sure going for more donuts this year possibly cost me more time than I got back in credit!